Welcome one and all to the Monday issue.
Typed by the Scandal Chief Editor and edited by the sole employee of the company. All rights officially removed.
Our first piece of scandal for the day is that on Saturday a certain Kathryn did something she's never done before, the fact that she was at James's house does much to elevate the importance of the scandal. Another scandal is that Mr James Clarke went and kissed everyone who went on a piss up on Thursday (and I mean everyone). Also with the installation upon James of a book entitled 'Cats for dummies' we learned that cats need plenty of protein, if you're clever you'll know exactly where James is sourcing his resources! They also require frequent stroking, personal health checks and the tongue should be examined regularly (it's all making sense now!!!)
Also on saturday, it became all too apparent that James and Kat were at their wits end with the presence of the little yet mighty Matthew Clarke throughout the entire "event/show". As of yet, we are currently unsure as to what exactly was going on but we very much intend on sending our 'UNDERCOVER' journalists into the fray. Details of the journalist's discoveries shall be published as soon as any scandalous information is recovered.
In addition, we recently found out and can now exclusively reveal that a certain 15 year-old (in year10) is going out with an unknown 21 year-old, which seems frankly paedophilic and bizarre to us.
Also on saturday, it became all too apparent that James and Kat were at their wits end with the presence of the little yet mighty Matthew Clarke throughout the entire "event/show". As of yet, we are currently unsure as to what exactly was going on but we very much intend on sending our 'UNDERCOVER' journalists into the fray. Details of the journalist's discoveries shall be published as soon as any scandalous information is recovered.
In addition, we recently found out and can now exclusively reveal that a certain 15 year-old (in year10) is going out with an unknown 21 year-old, which seems frankly paedophilic and bizarre to us.
G'bye for now
The Scandal Press Editor-in-Chief
The Scandal Press Editor-in-Chief
26 comments:
ah the good old scandal press exploiting the turn of phrase.To all those who don't know,it was the fact that she did some jumps on a horse,that was what she had never done before (ie before she got to my house). Rick was the only one to get a kiss off me that night nobody else!,although i did try to kiss chris but he was against it.
Whats this about a year 10 going out with a 21year old???
Erm and maybe some scandalous information may be that during Ricks activities on Sunday with Laura were so tiring that she needed to "take a break", with Lauras fixation with bushes and a txt recieved by me saying"Argh 341!" i wonder just what were they upto on sunday????
Following on the assumption that rick will deny these somewhat too public activities i then must ask the question: was sunday so boring that you both had to be sending txts to other people????
Clarkey
Despite our efforts on the Scandal Press team to provide a weekly post every Monday for our beloved readers of gossip, some of you cannot simply be arsed to click a few buttons on the computer and thus reply to the efforts of the team.
We happily spent 30 minutes (ok, dodging revision) preparing this week's edition so you could make up your own mind and react as you like, but some, I'm sorry to say, are remaining too stubborn.
A disgruntled Jonah
p.s. thanks everyone else for showing interest
I am disguested, James, that I was not at the receiving end of one of your kisses. I mean, I'm sure they're not THAT bad at all!
Another time maybe!
hey paul, you're pushing it a bit aren't you? i thought i'd told you, james is mine! so hands off!! i'm still willing to fight you for him!
Children, children...let me settle this! You can have a pay-per-view mud fight and then regardless of the loser, you can BOTH have Mr Clarke, I'm sure he has room for you both! *sniggers*
What am I on about, Mr Clarke has very much a slender physique *looks in the opposite direction*, doesn't he?!
Jonah (pushing the limit!)
O I'd love to join in the fight but problem is I'm no guy (damn fate ;p) so kat may acctualy think .... ;p
laura, my dear. as james has already explained that text had nothing dodgy about it! the 'thing i had never done before' referred to the fact that in my horseriding lesson (saturday morning, up at matchmoor when james just happened to be working at smithalls, ie not even near each other!)i jumped the biggest jump i had ever done, so stop trying to twist things... just because you 'needed a rest'from something doesnt mean you have to twist what i say, however i dont even want to know what you and rick had been doing that made you need that rest...
i didnt say 2 things! i said one, and that was the fact that id jumped really big. i said id done 2 things i loved to do (go riding and see james) and one thing id neve done before (jump that big) but im sure i put that before i said that id done somethign i hadnt done before, but lets just leave it now... sure people are bored with this now :P
**yawns** nope! not at all! ;p
erm i think not moonbeam
james is currently mine
she did say two things i seen it!
PEEDO!
**Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn** o am I glad I dont have the scandal press editor in chief's life if he finds this so very important ;p
As the sole employee of the Scandal Press, I would like to retract the statement of scandal publish towards to the bottom of the last issue as it seems to have caused too much of an offense and on closer reflection, the Scandal Press editor is apologetic for any trouble caused.
Jonah
p.s. keep on blogging though
Ah yes well I hope so for I am rather protective of the rights of 15 year old girls!!! ;p apology excepted on this side of the ‘river’ though ...this time ;P
may I do something no one else has done and praise the formatting of the new post? very catchy! great job the two of you!!!!
sry lang. I think i got it wrong with who this whole story is about. I dont know who it is about really. just some mysterious ms x I believe of whom I know absolutely nothing other then that I'm on her side as well …O and his side as well for the elder person (specially if that one is a male) is normally seen as the one ‘responsible’
A pathetic and puny apology from the Scandal Press there! You're supposed to be spreading scandal, not retracting anything that causes a fuss. Cowards!! Well, coward really, it was only Scotty making the apology! And on the thing that's provoked the biggest debate and discussion for a long time. For shame.
And love??? Oh, come on. A 2-odd year old fancying a 15 year old is almost acceptable. The fact that they're happy, mildly believeable. The fact that it's supposedly 'right' is far fetched to say the least. But that it's love?? Of course, and there goes that flying pig past my window with a trail of little elves chasing after it with butterfly nets!!
The following comments are mainly targeted at a Mr Shepley, whose ideas are so far-fetched from reality that his views reflect those of a middle aged father, who may be a tad over-protective of his child like many characters in society. For that alone, I may be the one to say for shame!
I typed an apology as I felt it was necessary to make clear that, not knowing the two involved, it was absolutely none of our business and the people concerned were not aware of that which was being typed about them. We also felt guilty for causing some people distress as some have taken it upon themselves to make un-called for and scathing attacks at others, without any humour or compassion.
Let me get this quite straight, the idea of a scandal is that it remains controversial yet humourous to all concerned and when over steps that boundary of geniunely upsetting someone, then it must be retracted. I didn't think it would be necessary to explain that obvious point out, but for those readers a little bit slow, there you go.
I was wishing to stand neutral on that particular argument as I thought it wasn't for me to say and the scandal about *Cats for Dummies* was far more hilarious to us. However, I agree whole-heartedly with Laura and Adriana and your concept of what's *right* will most certainly differ from that of others, which you have thus far failed to comprehend.
Yours, typing in full jargon, Jonah
The SOUL employee of the Scandal Press (thanks Lang!)
hmmm scotty, I know that all isn't pointed at me cus you said so. ..but really I was just taking the things paul said more as a type of joke. somehow ....it doesn't really fit to him to act as an old, over protective father now does it ? (um try to ignore the gray hair ... and obsession with coffee umm ad all the other things ;p)
hmm 19:12 here on a nice **;p** monday
and yet still no scandel press is to be found (and that even though I've looked high and low!)
**annoyed**
**worried**
but most of all a tierd
addy
22:05 and STILL no monday scandal press issue!!!
**sniff**
I'm getting all depri now
now this REALLY isn't nice!! It's morning and I was looking forward to a nice read butBUT LOOOK AT THAT!!!! THERE'S NO SCANDAL PRESS!!! ahhhhhhhh help!!! someone must have stolen it!!! ...for I'm sure the charming people who write it wouldn't be soo crule to me as to leave let it totaly be forgotten!!
well anyways have fun at the ball all of you!! and if you dont manage to pop by for a pre-coktail then I hope I can be awaiting you for one there after! -after all germany really is just a hop skip and a jump away!
;P Adri
dont worry update tomorrow at around 2am
your time or mine? ;p looking forward to it! :D
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