Hah, it finally happened, Chris cracked at James. And about bloody time too. In no way do you ever go out with your mates sister. ITS ILLEGAL (unwritten playground rules apply) If james wants to kill me i don't care, in fact bring it on. Here's a thought, did you know that you never hear the bullet that hits you, ever.
In the news, many of us got invited to s strange 16th party where we have to SIGN to drink. As a moral rule i am objecting profusely due to the appearance of two pictures on the invite which should be burned. Also randomly my bro got invited and he don't even know rachel.
Anyway thats all for now, so its happy election day and a merry Ascension.
yours,
The Scandal Press Editor-in-Chief
41 comments:
Wahoo! I am the first member to post on this wonderful creation, completely original idea! *all rights removed
Yes it is election day today, so keep in touch with the events and make sure you make your feelings known by either hitting Emery in your outrage, or much healthier...post a comment or article with a Scandal Press style intake of the up and coming events,
Get blogging now!
Jonah
As a controversial employee of the Scandal Press, I wish to pronounce a new scandal, one which may seem literally trivial, but it is all the same very very very SERIOUS for certain members of this collective group of swaggering wannabe-journalists (in the nicest sense!)...it is as follows...
The number puzzles which are found at the back of the Times 2 supplement every single day of the week, has been taken hostage by others intentionally in the common room area. This is hot news and Paddon's reaction in particular is imminent...what is he going to do? Outsiders have suggested we stop doing such puzzles and crosswords and that we should all try something very new an upcoming...wait for it...have a conversation!
I know it's a taboo (literally again) but it may have to be done if this trauma is to be fought through...
Somehow, someway we shall find the solution for the depreviation of T2.
Please help...
Jonah in distress
*bows down to the editor*
I agree, sir! I DEMAND a public execution!!!
BRING IT ON!
You really should not incite the rath of me, evil plans are a speciality of mine. I may not have a shotgun, but did you know a Global Knife is very usefull for de-skinning a carcass?
Quite an achievement is deskinning
maybe you didnt know that if we shoot you twice in succession with a double barreled 12 gauge your pretty much skinned anyway and without as much effort or without having to get close
The date of the SHOW TRIAL will be 2nd july 2005
We don't want to ruin Pauls 18th with that, so i ask the Jury for the date of the trail to be brought forward!
**ducks** (trying to not be hit by a stray insult
As cheif judge and organiser of The Great Show Trial, I am moving the perviously voiced date to June 2nd, giving enough time to put an offence into order and make sure he's found guilty.
I must remind you all, that this is a trial. Not a fair trial, but a show trial. These are the most fun after all!
Dear all ringing their hands for Mr C.s blood...
I urge you to stop with the hatred! Stop the threats, the insults and let's all be friends! I am going against the proverbial tide here but I wish for a cease to this dangerous trend of trying to endure pain upon your fellow buddy!
*Feels the electronic prods from aside* Please, don't make this an ugly affair, James doesn't need help achieving that!!!
Jonah in tears of laughter!
Hahahaha!!
Another great comment by our chief peace-keeper!
With both James and Chris at logger heads over this, I agree, it is by far ugly enough for the time being! No bloodshed is necessary!
"I urge you to stop with the hatred!"
"No bloodshed is necessary!"
**peaks out from behind the wall I was hiding behind** is it over then? is the coast clear?
My Scandal Press Officer in Chief, i have had word of an as yet hidden scandal, that i believe you should try and find out about. According to Mr Clarke himself, there is a scandal to do with Sleeping Arrangements and Early Nights while in Spain. I beg for you to humiliate him in public by posting this for all to read of his Paedophilic ways
Now now, let's be civil!
Adriana, come out from hiding, it's ok to ask for a peace between Mr P and Mr C over the lovely Miss P! I love using code but don't fear the wrath of anyone! Mr C is yet to comment so I would suggest, in a fair and democratic way, that he has the right to explain his actions and his defense. Otherwise please stop shining up your guillotine, Mr P, it's not worth it!
Jonah
**nods enthusiastically** the all mighty Mr IJ is right!(as always)
Oh,don't worry, i stopped shining it awhile ago. Its very blunt(for extra pain!) and spotless(although i will have to clean it after the deed is done)
Yikes! scooottyyy!!! I thought you said I could come out from behind my hiding place?
to all those wonderful but naive people.
To address things point bu point:
1) Rick a global knife could quite easily skin ya and with regards to the shotgun well you'd have to spot me and be at home at the time.
2)the draft issue of mondays issue, Rick it was you who locked Kat and I in there and to all others the harness, the boots and the helmets are irrelevant.
3) Chris we need a chat my little Gimpel. My demise? erm no.
4) Adri you may come out from hidding chris hasn't got the range or the wit to be able to hit you in german (and my aim is true)
5) Just to add a bit of context to the idea of a showtrial, 1. even Stalin made an offence even if they were made up and according to any law of this country i have done nothing wrong. 2. They were all proved by confssion, how u gonna get one of those?
5) if you still want to proceed, i'm quite happy, as the Kaiser will never be hung!!!
Gimpel? who you calling a Gimpel? that makes me wanna talk don't it!!!
Anyone else out there who likes being called a Gimpel/Gimp? Nope, thought not....
The cheek of some people!I'd once again like to bow down to the Scandal Press Officer in Chief for doing such a great job!
"Anyone else out there who likes being called a Gimpel/Gimp?" hey! cool! that provides that you like being called a gimpel!! my my!!! I was searching for an other name for you all this time! Gimpel! that's it!! ha ha! 8D ;p hehehe if only I had known before... ;p
"as the Kaiser will never be hung" :O noooooo why did you have to chose a german state of head? pleas dont put me through the torture of being under your control and of leaving the land I'm living in being open for attacks!! ahhhh **flees** ;p
Looking forward to Monday and hopefully more scandals!! (work people!! provide him with something to write about!!! Be scandalous! ;p) I have a little questin though ...who writes about your scandals? I think we should have some kind of "scandal press editor in chief" check to see if there's anything to write about (you) that you just **chough** happened to forget. heaven knows I am of the opinion that a tree should never fall while a reporter isn't around. that way the question of if it really fell never even arises ,p (my logic ;p dont try to understand it unless you dont value your sanity ;p)
Let's stop the outbursts! Let's stop the code talk. Let's stop the wild and unabridged comments!
Now, my friends is the time to unite behind one common cause. Te become a team, to become one whole, one entity routing for one final result. If we organise ourselves well enough, then the goal will be a simple one to achieve and everyone will go away much happier than how all this talk is spinning and spiralling out of control.
So, I call you all to unite, behind the one common goal.
Death to "The Kaiser"!
Death to the gimpoid!
Death to Mr C!!!!
Scandal Headlines:
Prancing Horse falls for Spanish Snake
Miss A Ferrari has fallen for a Spanish boy who can't string two words of English together(or German for that matter). There have been Problems from the start where he tried to say that he was happy and ended up saying he was gay.
Interracial Affair
Mr PJ Clarke was last night caught with his pants down in the Mens toilets of a Bolton Restaurant. Witnesses were disgusted at MR Clarke's actions with the Male Hooker, of Asian Origins. When questioned, the Hooker only replied with the words "Naaaah".
Adopted Boy Found Beaten in Ditch
A boy, going by the name of Caleb was last night found in a ditch in Bolton. When questioned, he claimed that his adoptive parents had tried to sexually abuse him, and when he refused to do anything was beaten and thrown out. His adoptive parents have gone on the run, and Police claim to have them surrounded in a cupboard next to a wall.
aw not that aint right!! leave my wonderful spanish guy out of it! He proved his intelligence, when he said: "but i am loved i when loved one is fool" so no more picking on him! he's great! hehehehhe lol true boy friend material ;p lol
Wow, there has been a lot of responses since I last checked this blogger site. At last there is something you all seem to have passion for, uniting against an apparent common cause...just why on earth does it have to be against someone and against someone as sweet and innocent as mr C. (disclaimer states opinions cannot be prosecuted against)
What has he done wrong? I agree totally with his logic, just when you say the full range of Germany, please spell it right. And for those worrying about the idea of Mr P and co attacking Germany, fear not, as mr C.s claim to be some sort of emperor is only a general comment, so all of the world will prosper/suffer as a result of this claim.
Now to hit back at Mr Paddon, and therefore to be as one-sided as possible!
Interestingly enough, Mr Paddon's scandal stories, as extreme as they sounded, didn't add up and weren't fool-proof...you say that Mr Clarke was found with his pants down in a men's toilet (don't picture it ever, trust me) wasn't it the case that not 4 months ago, allegations were made of both Mr C and Mr P being present in the toliets of a theatre, incidentally whilst we were following the yellow-brick road, (no, I'm not high, it's the Wizard of Oz play)?? Yes, these allegations were grossly exaggerated by the Friday E-mail head of staff that there was some hanky-panky, and any further ideas of happenings in toliets would be thus hypocritical?
Am I right, or am I right?
Jonah, rubbing his hands gleefully!
What Mr Clarke and Mr Pathan(if you hadnt guessed it washim, you must be stupid, or Adriana, or both :p) has come from a very reliable source. And i will sue you for thinking that this piece of news is hypocritical!!!! how dare you!:p
**sobs pathetically** not only is paddon suggesting that I'm stupid he's also making fun of my wonderful spanish boe! **sniff** this really isn't nice!! **flenn** **heul** *zusammenbruch**
Grossly exaggerated by The Friday E-Mail staff???
That's slander, that is. Uncalled for too!
The Friday E-Mail and it's staff made their claims in full trust of their one source who told them everything they knew about the matter. We just went to print with their story, not our own blown up version of it!
And, with new claims being flung about, qestions have to be asked about certain people's toilet behaviour, and, in all honesty, the pictures and mental images disgust me. Luckily, no one is running a full colour picture exclusive!
Oh: And please, Mr C sweet and innocent??? You must be high on something Scotty to be so deluded from the truth. It makes me feel ill and dizzy with confusion trying to put hose words in a sentence, let alone actually trying to understand someone's belief in such a statement.
Press Issue:
The Friday E-Mail and all it's subsidary staff have been requested by their lawyers to make the following statement:
Although we printed the story of toilet mayhem late last year, we did so without knowing all the facts and the use of only one source was foolish and silly. Thus, we apologise for making such allegations without knowing all the facts or cross referencing the story in the thorough way we try to do with all our stories since. Again, we apologise for any mental anguish from mental images ensued from the story, but we do not offer anything in way of compensation.
wow! I'm not just gona duck, I'm outa here! hasta la vista ..till monday when I hope there will be something new and not quite so dangerous for me to enjoy reading ;p
Addy
xxx
i noticed that chris never answered scotts question, just what have i done wrong?????
OK here we go.
Now throughout this minus the few random utterances about Rick and a Global Knife and the Kaiser i have atleast tried to keep this as civilised as possible.
But i say again, just what have i done wrong?
Anyway, Chris if you would like to continue these petty little games like some three year old thats fine by me. But, atleast make they original. It really does sadden me to think that after all these years you still can't come up with an original insult. Please a REPEAT of PAULs toilet joke come on what were you thinking??????
they*them
Now while i'm on a roll, why has this devolved into typing on a Blogg? Has conversation really become a lost art? or does typing these messages leave enough time in between for Chris to rip off somebody elses insults? Chris, no everyone if you have a problem why can't it be discussed like adults?
In no way do you ever go out with your mates sister. ITS ILLEGAL (unwritten playground rules apply) <--------- personally, i think Mr Thornley put the reason perfectly there
just a few minor adjustments needed there, 1) when did people take notice of the rantings of Rick?
2) u don't care, according to you!
Just a short note to add, if you have such a major problem why can't you just talk to me about it???
you do know what that is don't you? face to face communication?
Sorry, i don't seem to know what that is. Face to face???????? Whats that?
I am thinking that you do actually know what face to face means, so I hope I don't have to spell it out! I hope you meant it as some kind of retorical question, whatever it was, please do elaborate!
Keep all tiffs to this blogger comment and not the other one, or better still do as James said and talk about it.
Jonah
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