Monday's Issue disappears!

Dear one and all, this is a temporary newsflash to warn or perhaps inform you of the whereabouts of the usual Monday Issue which is the heart of the Scandal Press entreprise. Unfortunately, Mr Chief Editor and I have been unable to meet together to plan and script the up-and-coming edition and therefore we apologise for the delay of this week's scandal publication.

Have no fear as we intend to include a section to represent any ongoings during the leavers' do which takes place on this fine evening. For everyone else, enjoy the sunshine!

Sole employee of the Scandal Press

The Monday Issue

Welcome one and all to the Monday issue.

Typed by the Scandal Chief Editor and edited by the sole employee of the company. All rights officially removed.

Our first piece of scandal for the day is that on Saturday a certain Kathryn did something she's never done before, the fact that she was at James's house does much to elevate the importance of the scandal. Another scandal is that Mr James Clarke went and kissed everyone who went on a piss up on Thursday (and I mean everyone). Also with the installation upon James of a book entitled 'Cats for dummies' we learned that cats need plenty of protein, if you're clever you'll know exactly where James is sourcing his resources! They also require frequent stroking, personal health checks and the tongue should be examined regularly (it's all making sense now!!!)

Also on saturday, it became all too apparent that James and Kat were at their wits end with the presence of the little yet mighty Matthew Clarke throughout the entire "event/show". As of yet, we are currently unsure as to what exactly was going on but we very much intend on sending our 'UNDERCOVER' journalists into the fray. Details of the journalist's discoveries shall be published as soon as any scandalous information is recovered.

In addition, we recently found out and can now exclusively reveal that a certain 15 year-old (in year10) is going out with an unknown 21 year-old, which seems frankly paedophilic and bizarre to us.

G'bye for now

The Scandal Press Editor-in-Chief

The Monday Issue- on Monday

Dear all
Welcome to the latest issue of the monday issue and due to ongoing errors on my Pc probably the last. i have not much to say but maybe these sentences to specific un-specified people will help you go on with your lives: JUST NO!
Yes O.K.
Ha my first exam is on 14th June
So big a piss up i dont remember even starting it
PRETTY PLEASE
Can i? Really?

Yours till i die and goodbye

The scandal press officer-in-chief

The Monday Issue- on Thursday

Dear Comrades

After the recent spate of biased and mischievous reporting by the scandal press, I have ultimately decided to reveal to you, the honest and hard-working journalists of the scandal press. : Scott Jones

I think congratulations are in order for his recent promotion, I believe it’s about time he did.

On a more scandalous approach the first two posts received record numbers of comments showing that scandal really does matter to you all, thank you. I do want to complain about the ineptness of all members NOT commenting seems a bit of a waste of time inviting you to this blog if you don’t use it!

Also I wish to refute any inconsideration on my behalf against a certain Mstr. P.J.Clarke as he is one excellent person and want to thank him for an excellent meal out. I personally started with Black pudding, then an 8oz. rump steak with chips, carrots, broccoli, half a tomato and an excellent stilton and bacon sauce. For dessert I had Belgium Waffles with ice cream, toffee flakes, and ice cream wafer, and a caramel sauce. It was gorgeous.

Now I am yet to complain about the ineptness of a certain department to ignore what I am saying and also tell lies in my school record. I would have loved to write that the perpetrators are f#~@+=/ b!£$&%*# and should B\_/ r/\/ i/\/ h3//

The Monday Issue

This I believe as my first controversial issue of the Scandal Press. With imminent exams looming it's obvious that tensions will increase. As shown last Thursday, when James and Kat were in the climbing store cupboard for ten minutes with a helmet, a shoe, and a harness! We were completely unsure as to what was going on and can only presume from the complete silence coming from the cupboard that something WAS going on. Also from a well known source of information (A.L. said it and no you don't know her James), the reason why James was not in geography, also on last Thursday, was that he was buying 'huggies' for his girlfriend! THIS I WOULD HAVE LOVED NOT TO SAY BUT TOO MANY PEOPLE INSISTED!!!
Another point, could i have a bit more scandal from everyone else please, James is becoming boring and too predictable in his scandals.

The Monday Issue

Hah, it finally happened, Chris cracked at James. And about bloody time too. In no way do you ever go out with your mates sister. ITS ILLEGAL (unwritten playground rules apply) If james wants to kill me i don't care, in fact bring it on. Here's a thought, did you know that you never hear the bullet that hits you, ever.
In the news, many of us got invited to s strange 16th party where we have to SIGN to drink. As a moral rule i am objecting profusely due to the appearance of two pictures on the invite which should be burned. Also randomly my bro got invited and he don't even know rachel.
Anyway thats all for now, so its happy election day and a merry Ascension.
yours,
The Scandal Press Editor-in-Chief