Friday, May 06, 2005

The Monday Issue

This I believe as my first controversial issue of the Scandal Press. With imminent exams looming it's obvious that tensions will increase. As shown last Thursday, when James and Kat were in the climbing store cupboard for ten minutes with a helmet, a shoe, and a harness! We were completely unsure as to what was going on and can only presume from the complete silence coming from the cupboard that something WAS going on. Also from a well known source of information (A.L. said it and no you don't know her James), the reason why James was not in geography, also on last Thursday, was that he was buying 'huggies' for his girlfriend! THIS I WOULD HAVE LOVED NOT TO SAY BUT TOO MANY PEOPLE INSISTED!!!
Another point, could i have a bit more scandal from everyone else please, James is becoming boring and too predictable in his scandals.

38 comments:

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

god people are soooo boring at times!!!

Scotty said...

Please stop talking rubbish Mr Scandal Press editor iin chief, if that is your real name! I must object to your great contradiction in your last press release, which urged we have more things to use as scandals other than anything related to James, yet the entire press is about the man himself! Come on, you're surely encouraging more slanderous (and for my part undeserved) comments aimed againts M Clarke.

My scandal involving the disappearance of the T2 was quickly ignored as we all pursued to address the Clarke issue...I try but fail to get anywhere with my attempts!

Jonah

Adriana said...

**bows down to the almighty, all-knowing one** (scotty of course not this scandal press editor in chief figure)

clarkey said...

Mr Jones you continue to talk much needed sense.

chris said...

Whereas you, Mr Clarke, are still talking out of your arse, which i'm sure you are quite happy to do

Adriana said...

wow wow wow I'm really fed up with reading these things! would the two of you bee so kind as to keep to your own private little post where you can insult each other and compare the lengths of your 'wangs' (as I believe the british say) as often and in any way you like but pleas dont do it in front of me and if you're planning on doing so in a place where I am then please give me sufficient notice.
Adriana

Scotty said...

Did I beat Thornley to typing the next comment? we shall find out very soon! Quickly type something!!!

Jonah

p.s. Mr Thornley is still typing!

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

talking is too easy its fun to type
something mr clarke is incapable
oh and the form of verbal comunication very rarely comes into play when in contact with a certain person/thing/item(delete as applicable)

Scotty said...

To my dear Adriana, what on earth were you on about when you referred to wangs, being of some kind of British phrase! That is entirely American down to the core, and any such future references to that place will be taken much more seriously next time! hehe

Jonah

p.s. your point was understandable though, so that was the main idea.

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

woo im a limey

clarkey said...

I know I can't type (this is incidentally Jonah typing on his behalf) and I have certainly made no secret of this. But the point I made still has resonance and any further complaints about my typing abilities will thus be pathetic and unjust!

With regards to the Senior Chief editor of the Scandal Press...we could do this in the form of hand-written letters if you choose, but that would surely rule you out as your hand-writting is below par and technically poor. Because of that it would rule you out of such a form of communication.

I, Mr Clarke still declare that face to face (yes Chris, face to face) conversation is still superior to any others.

Mr Clarke

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

according to mr c people dont listen to my rambling
i think somehow that 42 comments for the first post proves the point

Scotty said...

Just to address a very serious point made by the Chief Ed of this alledged company, just what on earth do you mean by Limey!!!? James is equally baffled, so I suggest you clarify such a random comment!

Jonah

King of complaints

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

POLL: Mr CLarke is a bastard
post your reply now!

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

they who know not the term limey should be shot for being unloyal

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

In Heb. 12:8, the word bastard is used in its ordinary sense, and denotes those who do not share the privileges of God's children. which james clearly does not.

Scotty said...

NO

As the first vote to James being a bastard, as Mr Thornley puts it, I strongly suggest that he is not such a person. The reasoning is clear, so I will have my cake and eat it(not him, Mr C, I am not THAT hungry!) ...preferably chocolate cake!

Jonah

Scotty said...

One final point on behalf before I scoot off to revise for my German in which I actually have to speak FACE TO FACE in a few moments time(I'll tell you how it went Adriana, don't worry!)...

Here is my point...are you coming to revise now Mr Thornley!?

See you in the common room facility

Jonah

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

if i must

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

Anyway to anyone reading this the polls are now open. to james anyone who replies to this reads my rambling so ive got one person already (scotty)

clarkey said...

in what way do i"not share the priviledge of gods children"?

And anyway you are using a text which has no basis as a repository of fact! The feeding of the five thousand, do you think that was fact??
Or you tell me how it was that Jesus can walk on water as described?

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

i need not demonstrate that the letters to the hebrews have in fact been found! and fully translated

clarkey said...

well i believe scott replied in the response to a damn right slanderous comments. i was refering to just you in general btw

clarkey said...

my point was, (as you obviously cannot prove any other meaning than that given by the English Dictionary), that under that definition i am definately not a bastard.

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

hmm so officially you are a bastard
because according to the bible you do not share the privileges of God's children because you just committed blasphemy (for which you will go to hell, not that anyone really cares) for denouncing its writing thus diabling you from sharing the privileges of God's children!

chris said...

It says: "we could do this in the form of hand-written letters if you choose, but that would surely rule you out as your hand-writting is below par and technically poor." <------ I'm not one to talk here, but your handwriting isn't exactly a piece of beauty now is it!


Thornley says: "according to mr c people dont listen to my rambling
i think somehow that 42 comments for the first post proves the point" <----------- I listen to every single word of your rambling, so once again, Mr Clarke is WRONG!!!!!


It says: "in what way do i"not share the priviledge of gods children"?" <---------God's children are either male, or female. You are neither(or perhaps both) so are therefore not one of Gods Children!


Thornley says: "hmm so officially you are a bastard
because according to the bible you do not share the privileges of God's children because you just committed blasphemy (for which you will go to hell, not that anyone really cares) for denouncing its writing thus diabling you from sharing the privileges of God's children!" <------------ or for that reason. Good point Mr T!!!!

chris said...

In other news, there was more Scandals unfolding today that i'm sure our Editor in Chief will tell you all about later

clarkey said...

i question the validity of a god, (you cannot prove it exists either way, but using a scientific approach he does not exist as we have no PROOF) therefore you cannot use a potentially made up text. it's like me writing a book declaring Chris to be a talkative person whose conversational skills are unserpassed, But the truth is it would be false.

Adriana said...

hrmmm I'm haveing a bit of a hard time here. is wang really an american word? I looked it up to try to find out for sure but all I got was:

1.The jaw, jawbone, or cheek bone.
So work aye the wangs in his head.
- Chaucer.
2.A slap; a blow.
Wang tooth
a cheek tooth; a molar.
- Chaucer.
1.See Whang.

so I decided to go a bit further being rather sure of myself I got up the courage and asked my mum with the most innocent face I could conjure. and ...god help me she's never heard of the word so I stick to thinking that it's a british word. Plus I've really never heard an american say that. but fine if the lot of you dont like that word then pleas tell me one that doesn't sound offensive cus I dont know any that doesn't. they all do!

but enough about that!!! I believe that despite my "lowbrow" ways of expressing myself you understood me perfectly scotty ...but what about the others? There seams to be precious little change in the subject and the wonderful remarks that are being flung so lovingly at each other why? did the others not understand what I meant for lack of your great linguistic knowledge or were they blatantly ignoring my request? and if so then whatever for? You dont suppose they were/are searching for more fights **chough** uh I mean discussions (of course ;p), do you?

Scotty said...

Perhaps, my dear Adriana, perhaps!

Jonah

short and sweet

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

scotty is always short and sweet

chris said...

Am i the only one here who thinks Mr Clarke is going a bit far?He is trying to force his religious beliefs on others! If the rest of us want to believe in God, then there is nothing you can do about it, and by you trying to prove that he does not exist surely shows that you know you are losing!

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

thankyou for a great series of comments!
till next time
Rick

Adriana said...

just posting a comment here for fun on these antique comments to see if anyone will even notice

Scotty said...

YAY I noticed Adriana, and yeah they are antique comments. That's freaky, but I have just been reading all of the great comments of the site since the Scandal Press was invented all those months ago *sighs* funny if you get the chance to reply.

Jonah

Adriana said...

hehehe nice going scotty!! ;p I bet no one else is noticing us posting here though! a whole little spot where comments can be posted and this all to ourselves! ;p

Scotty said...

YAY! AGAIN! And here's another comment to see if you notice this time...it's a shame nobody else scrolls back down endlessly through the comments sections. Comments from Mr Shepley in particular are hilarious! It makes for a good read when you are tired with little else to do.

Jonah (awaiting response)

Adriana said...

hehe! scotty, I'm wide awake ...well not literally ..but you should know what I mean. this Mr Shepley you're talking about though he's good at wording anything he sets his mind on wording. Really I think the others are just a wee bit too…umm too something to notice or to even think that there could be any difference on the other posts
Adri
xxx