Drunken fling?!
The Night we wanted to forget!
Typed and subsequently edited by the sole employee of the Scandal Press *All rights removedThe Scandal Press headquarters was viciously rocked last night when it learnt of a scandal so brutal, so destructive and so devastating that it was forced into being black-mailed into publishing this exclusive image, which as such warrants a parents advisory badge. The Senior Chief Editor and I , the sole employee of the Scandal Press were caught off-guard in what can only be described as passionate behaviour. Outsiders have already caused an uproar with their claims of a romantic twist to this shocking story and have even suggested that it may include some sort of triangular affair including a fiery-haired ladies' man, who shall remain nameless.
Hot off the press we would like to damn such evidence and officially give our side of the story, as not to continue with this saga for any longer. We, Richard and I, share a professional and social relationship, which in no way steps beyond that. We are very happy with our current, how do I put this, situations, and feel inclined to assure everyone that it shall never happen again. We do not wish to blame the role of alcohol in this case, but believe it played a key role in the event!
This comes amidst accusations, quite slanderous claims, that we here at the Scandal Press simply enjoy to have a laugh at the expense of others and we are thus gutless in our stories. This, I hope, shall prove such absurd allegations to be completely untrue.
45 comments:
hmmm somehow that all has the same sort of ring like "I did not have sex with that woman" and I'm sure I've heard that one somewhere ..though I can't quite put my finger where ...hmmm ;p
lol GREAT read!!!! laughing all the way (starting with the pic.) ;D hehehe thank you so much! heheheh brilliant!
Addy
xxx
Dear All,
this is invariably a mistaken scotty blooper. Under no Circumstances are we black-mail-able this is a falsety that will never be uttered again and i will thank my sole employee for never saying it again. Scotty i have no problem with this post and will say that the picture is one of legendary proportions and wil be incarcerated forever right here at the Scandal Press Blogspot.
Yours,
in retrospect,
The Scandal Press Editor-in-Chief
p.s. I agree with all the accusations from people saying we are having a laugh at the expense of others. It's excellent and something that needs to be done
hehehehe thank you thank you thank you **bows** and I'm right again ;p
Adri **halo**
Keep having the cheap laughs at other's expenses. They are the best kind of gag. Seen as low-brow by some, but they laugh like the rest of us do. As long as it's balanced, then keep it up. This is The Scandal Press, and we wouldn't want it to be all soft and neutral. Get a backbone and then back to the accusations, be they founded or unfounded. Keep the laughter up!
nicely said by the one and only!
I can vouch for both Scott and Rick everything was above board. As well all slept that night on the floor of my lounge. ALthough Scotty the "innocent" cudling that you and rick did was going a little too far.
O pleas do tell more Mr. Clarkey! this is getting interesting! ;p
ah well that would be telling
wait a minuet! if I let a post like this be published about me than I think we could all live with you "telling" (including the two suspects) ;p
**poke** go on James! ;p
Adri
xx
today is tuesday and I think we all deserve a tuesday e-mail!! what do you think folks? I think the tuesday e-mail has vanished for soo long and that without so much as a good bye that it could [almost] be classes as scandalous!
Adri
xxx
P.S. with a halo of course ;p
I would like to point out that nothing happened between Scott and Rick while we were on the floor at James'. The Scandal seems to have gone quiet recently, but with us not being in contact as much I guess that is to be expected. To solve this problem, I demand that someone creates some Scandal!!! Whether you start having a fling with the gardner/neighbour(not trying to copy any ideas of certain tv programmes here...)/sheep(Paul...), its all good. After all, it gives the rest of us something to laugh about, and isn't that whats really important...
Scandal, eh? We'll find some somewhere. Although, something original would be preferable to the normal stuff about my night time habits with sheep. I'll say this though, they're getting shaven soon! Phew!! (**cackles with glee**)
I'm not going to say I'm happy about that, Laura. I was opposed to the idea of it, not the actual relatoinship. Long distance things never seem to work though, it's too much of a struggle.
Oh, and Chris, don't spoil the fun and ruin the scandal. Sometimes you just have to play along like furtive sheep!
Nah I think Chris was only trying to get us off the actual subject and make us think that he was trying to spoil the fun but in truth he was trying to hide one of the biggest scandals in the history of the scandal press!!!
detective Adri gets it right again!!
**puts on the cool sunglasses**
o yeah!! big it up for me ;p hehe
Hey Adri, you can try on my cool sunglasses! hehe That's sad to hear Laura, about the relationship but it's sometimes very hard on both people concerned when they hardly see each other. However, to Chris' point..that's what I was trying to address - a scandal! Come on, you could elaborate a little on what was alledged to have happened!
Jonah
p.s. thanks everyone for commenting this week, it's made me proud.
awwwwwwwwww scotty that's nice lol I was going to say something that would make it sound as though your sunglasses aren't cool but remembering that I saw a pic of them I can't do that anymore!!!! Grrahhh ;p
xxx
Heres a scandal: LAURA IS A THIEF
SHE STOLE MY PICTURE FRAME AVEC PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW! Hot off the press, i can't believe she would do such a thing, I had no idea! *cackles with Laughter* oh, am I still on the air!? D'oh! CUt, TURN IT OFF!
Jonah
p.s. may I take my paid holiday now, mr Chief Editor??!
wow!! a paid holiday!!! no wonder the scandal press in chief didn't want me to change anything on the site!! I didn't know you have such good pay!! ;p
but no scotty I forbid you to go on holiday (unless you go to germany)!!! the scandal press simply wouldn't be the same with out you! The two of you are now condemned to writing every monday! harhahrharhhar no holiday!! ;p hehe
**halo**
Addy
xxx
hmmm this sounds like the bickering of an old couple you know
ah well, the stealing of items is actually quite normal.
Anyhow Rick is in no place to comment as he still has a certain Franz Ferdinand t-shirt, also Nicola still has my pants and that is going on for 6 months.
"also Nicola still has my pants and that is going on for 6 months."
lol well if that doesn't smell like a scandal!!! would someone pleas get to the bottom of this for me? lol sure does sound like a GREAT story!
heheh
Addy
xxx
did i just hear the sound of dentures being put in a glass? ;p
**halo**
Addy
xxx
Anyways how can someone barrow someone's pants?! lol even if there isn't anything between the two there MUST be a story ...hmm or did I fail to see some major part of english culture when I was there? have I been expected to ask people for their pants? O I hope I didn't insult anyone by not doing so!! Go on gim me your pants people!!! ;p lol
haha, i like this post. sorry ive not posted for a while, but my internets down atm, well apart from on the main computer, and my dad keeps using it!
the thing with james' pants is this- when he was going out one night with a few bottles of beer he used some of his fleecy pants to stop the bottles clinking together and making a noise. when he got there nic saw them, and i think cos she was in her work uniform she borrowed them to wear, then she later returned them to him, but nicked them some other time. or thats the jist of it anyway, im sure james will explain it better than me... its not a part of english culture though ;P
its not a part of english culture though ;P
What are you talking about, of course it is!!!!!!! I can't believe you don't even know about your own culture!!!
Pathetic, just pathetic!
**looks baffeld from chris to kat** hmm should ask for his pants now or should I not? **scratches head** ;p lol
Exaxctly, it's a tradition. Chris can I have those baggy pants back now, you have had them for ages! Can I borrow someone's pants?
Jonah
(still on holiday, sipping cocktails by the pool side)
hmm would a skirt do scotty? it's a really nice red one with this two layer thing. I'm sure you'd look simly smaching in it!!!
I even have a v-neck top that really looks wonderful with it. ;p ..or are skirts and tops not part of the tradition? is it only pants?
a clueless
Adri ;p hehehe
P.S. I'm in the mood for a piza! anyone wana come over? cus if so then I'd take your orders now ;p
YAY! I could do with some pizza after my all expenses paid relaxing week, with three course meals and free tennis lessons courtesy of the Chief Editor for my PAID holiday. So, here's my order, as room service doesn't seem to stretch past chocolate fudge ice-creams...
Magherita Pizza with extra crust
Marrenara Pizza with extra mushrooms
Cola
Oh and have an extra 5 Euros or so to get yourself a drink, I'm feeling generous!
Anyway, point is I'm still on my break so I'm not giving any insight to this post other than keep the comments coming and gimme some PANTS, NOW!
Jonah
LOL hahahahahhaa
**puts up hands** yyeeeas sir!**hands over pants** ;p lol hope you dont mind the low cut ;p hehehehe
Kat got the explanation right, anyway it has now turned into a standing joke between me and Nicola, i doubt i'll ever get them back. :-(
Present buying is always hard though. It's just a fact of life!
hmm good q laura(even if it was only mean rehetricaly ..tihnk abbout it...)! Maybe it's a bit of jealousy? maybe people are a bit scared of the for them unthinkable and unknown (?). but if you really have managed that then I have high respect for that!!! It's hard for most people to quite on good terms never mind right from the beginning under a type of mutual understanding and even agreement! that really is great!
The presents thing though ...yeah I know that really is annoying!!!! does anyone have an answer to this particular problem?!
hey scotty we need you back soon i need my holiday, sorry abouyt the delayed pay will sort it out this week
Delayed Pay??? *splurts out shaken Martini and falls over into the pool* Are you being serious?? I better not be billed for this luzury stay in the five star hotel in Bonn!
You are going on holiday too?? What are we going to do then? Ask for volunteers to type the next edition or installment of the Monday Issue? Dare we pass the baton on to an outsider? What do you think, Chief Editor? Thoughts on a postcard!
Jonah (ready for a spot of tea)
dont worry the full pay has been issued and the bill for your holiday has been footed by me
Wait, let me get this straight. Rick, is giving you money, he's actually paying you? *shocked* Wow, i don't know what to say. Unless hes scrounging it off someone else, that has to be the answer.
WAIT just one minute!!! scotty, you're in a five star hotel in Bonn and haven't even botherd knocking on my door? O well this is simply over the top! This belongs on the scandal pressand not here!! ;p
uuuups! lol this is the scandal press site **turns red** sorry I have too many pages oppen
Still on holiday but I am typing from my imaginary laptop after flying back from a party in England...I am back at the hotel in Bonn, Germany and I have so far no plans to leave the hotel! It's so damn cool! All expenses paid really does live up to it's top billing.
Just sipping on another Martini and I toast Miss Rach Thomas for her divine get together and birthday celebrations!
Jonah
p.s. I have further evidence on the scandal concerning the whereabouts of the Chied Ed's photo but will not be forced to work again!
well scotty you missed on of the best parties by staying in your hotel I can tell you that! wooohoo! and moni and maritin even taught me a few dance moves o am I good now ;P
but my real message is that I want to see your, yes YOUR name on the list of people who posted a comment on this brilliantsite! this is a life and death thing!! you might not believe me but the other wise so intelligent and unbeatable paulo (writer and publisher) of this faabulous site is actually going to close it other wise! if that happens then I'll hold all of you responsible!
ah and finally the time has come for me, yes little me all the way over here in germany to inform you all of a scandal my sources tell me ...Grrahh I can't say that damn. well here's the thing I'm writing this for the great, yet lazy Mr. Ickle.
anyways enough of my mindless, unrelated ranting off to my ..um well ranting ;p
the 'missing' baby picture
An infamous Mr Cheif editor of the Scandal Press has had his baby picture stolen!! Yes I found it hard to believe myself, that such a great felony has been committed but it has been! O what is the world coming to? There were of course the usual suspects including Laura but it is still unknown who took it! It has been seen earlier tonight, this picture ...but only as a secondary source! It has been seen as someone's WALLPAPER (on their mobile)!
I for one would be very interested on hearing who, other than laura would feel such a connection to the editor in chief.
substitute writer (but expecting full pay including a free stay at a 5 star hotel in Manchester!)
Adriana
hmmm that sounds nice in theory but I'd like to know who you're covering ,-P surly the 'real' thief wouldn't just come out so openly with his or her guilt! and if they did, then they would need to be prosecuted! ,-p **halo**
Adri
xxx
Another job well done...ahh, the art of the scandal. Well done Adriana, your volunteer work was much appreciated.
Jonah
Get posting people and join my campaign to save the Friday E-mail!
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