Firstly, Scotty and I are now going out but a date has not been formally arranged which is a great pity.
Secondly, the Editor-in-Chief has been offered something on the side by one of the many Rachels we seem to know! This is slightly strange but also true!
Thirdly, Laura seems to be enamoured with someone called Percy, this we would love to know fully about, so speculation is expected from everyone! By the way does anyone know anyone called Percy?
Hot off the press, is the fact that a war seems to be going on involving a very strange artillery piece formally known as a party popper. As we understand the battle was furious and Sergeant Shepley suffered many assaults but emerged victorious, Private Thornley was awarded the most headshots medal against someone called Laura.
We have also heard rumours of an apparent incident involving Adriana, Kyle and a coathanger. we know little about this so i shall turn to my operative in bonn to do a little incognito work on our behalf
Anyway,
Goodbye for now and happy posting,
The Scandal Press Editor-in-Chief
Monday, June 13, 2005
THE MUCH AWAITED MONDAY ISSUE
Welcome one and all to the much awaited Scandal Press
This week the scandals were somewhat derived and hopefully fully offensive
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30 comments:
"We have also heard rumours of an apparent incident involving Adriana, Kyle and a coathanger."
that's it you've lost me. I haven't a clue what you're talking about
I dont normally tell third people anything that any of my dear friends say but I have a little problem here and think this must stop!! Right before I go on and work myself into a rage I'll first quote the one and only, fabulous superhero scotty
" The Friday e-mail despite my efforts has only received 5
different view points and I don't think people care at all. Hopefully
time will tell but I shall stick to my idea of cancelling my Saturday
e-mail. If nobody cares then, then I shall consider ever doing a
weekly e-mail. It's that extreme."
People, are you really so ...so ignorant, so self-indulgent that you can’t tell someone. ...and not just someone but Scotty, THE ickle one A N D Paul, the one and only (!) our true opinion on the wonders things they mange to bring to paper?!!!!!!!!!! Am I surrounded by idiots?
O by the way I know someone called Percy! he's some guy with red hair and freckles in Harry Potter! ,-P
Isn't Percy one of the engines from Thomas The Tank Engine?
The party popper war was a hard fought one, and we did indeed battle hard. Despite my lack of attack (I threw none!), I was heavily bombarded by Laura. Luckily, I did have a well placed human shield to hide behind in Parisa, although she was about as useful as a chocolate tea pot when it came to deflecting them away from me. Still, I like the idea of being victorious. It's a great victory, not for me, but for pascism in general. Hey, it's better than war!
Fantastic stuff, Mr Chief Editor of the Scandal Press. I was discussing before the fact that you are still, without a shadow of a doubt, the king of scandals! With little material to work with, you gathered scources and outrageous eye-witness accounts to formulate this colourful and splendid post! It's no easy task...*wipes away sweat from under the brow* and thanks for the holiday!
Jonah
sorry if I repeat myself but what's this scandal with Kyle, a coat hanger and myself? **still totally baffled**
or so you say
The coat hanger incident? Ahh, finally, it's all making perfect sense now! That must somehow be linked to the wardrobe being locked on that eventful night in the hotel room and equally explains what Adriana was upto. Perhaps it was a devious plan with Kyle to carry out the whole thing? After all, Kyle is a genius.
Jonah
**scratches head**
Percy hmm let me think ... Percy is um uh I whish I could come up with other Percys (out of books of movies or or or) but I simply cant! maybe next time (as though you were talking to me ,-P)
This coat hanger and Kyle thing though ... whatever the charges are against me I'm innocent! um and Kyle can be my witness! ,-P nah Martin can by my witness seeing as I think I was probably at a party on the evening that scotty is talking about. (see I also had the honour of talking to scotty on that day and he said ..or should I say slurred something about a party and beverages himself) ,-P
Adri
xxx
Interesting, do I detect a sense of denial? Anyone feel the same? Tell me more about the coat hanger though, we're dying to know more about it all.
Percy, eh? The one and only?
Jonah *scratches head*
The coat hanger? it was one of those freak things you know ...like the flying carpet in aladin, it just kinda 'hangs' out of all the other miscellaneous things in a house ,-P
o my logic once again! ,-P
Adri
**crosses eyes and lets out mad laugh** (you don’t suppose I’ve finally lost it do you? ,-p)
mwahahaa
aint it great
It is indeed great, Mr Chief Editor, it is very much so the funniset thing ever...can't believe what they did with that coathanger...could you possibly elaborate!
Jonah
cupboards
In a cupboard? Can someone please take the effort to tell us/confess or simply deny again these claims that Adriana was locked inside a cupboard or something during the night after her party visit to Martin's...and Kyle phone call to help her escape the locked cupboard/wardrobe in the hotel room, using a coathanger!!
Jonah
could be but it isnt
hiii adri
lol hahaha that's some story you've put together there scotty!! I'm not in the mood to deny anything though so all I say is I take the 5th (amendment) ,p
adri
xxx
hiii rick
go on do tell us the 'real' story rick! **suspense**
I was soo happy to see the number of comments on the friday e-mail raise so drastically soo quickly!!! ;D but can we get one more comment? just one more? even if you've all ready written one, it doesn't matter! tell us about something you've done, something you're planning on doing, anything you like it really is a spectacular place (as you probably know) but the authors do need a bit of proof. It would of course be best if you were to just bluntly tell the one and only what a fantastic site it is but as I said you can write what ever you feel like writing, main things is that he somehow finds out how much it means to us!!
Adri
xxx
May I be one of many to say, just to break away from the scandal for now, that REM are awesome and were brilliant to say the least yesterday at the Old Trafford Cricket ground...head is still buzzing and to add to that, I am sure a scandal will be brewing for next week's edition!
Jonah
p.s. Scandal Office committee meeting coming up? Get in touch Scandal Chief Editor!
Lonely...I'm so lonely! Hey again people, this is another comment amongst a wave of them typed to you via the Paddons' (or as Paul nicely puts it..the Paddons esssissisissis)
The scandal is abrewing (if that's a real word) so tell us anything that could be useful, shocking of laughable (other than James red dress) and we'll see what we can do for the next issue!
The ickle Jonah
scandal:
the friday e-mail that other wise works like clock work was missing on friday!!!! Grrahhhh global warming, an explosion and much more must have taking the one and only by surprise to account for this !!! help!! something must have gone terribly wrong!!!!!!
;-P
Adri
xxx
Ok, it is now officially Monday, the second best day of the week but I must stress that the issue shall be typed at the pace of our good Editor and my fellow superior in the company...so simply can we have no comments asking about its whereabouts? Please?
Jonah
hmmm I'll do my best
so where is it?!
**halo**
Sole employee of the Scandal Press here. I'm afraid the Monday Issue may not be published on the Monday! Sorry, but with confusion between the Chief Editor and I it has been delayed. The scheduled committee meeting didn't happen at the house in Tyldesley as he was otherwise engaged, and although I always have scandal on my mind, I didn't get around to it.
Once again this is an announcement
/apology even but it shall be on your screens shortly. I hope it doesn't anger Kyle's time slot for the Monday issue and his lawyers should be let's say, dealt with!
Jonah
Sole employee of the Scandal Press
the lawyers of Mr Kyle were not bribed, despite your take on my use of words!
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