"Last Week of Term Edition" of the Monday Issue

Well another week goes by and the prospect of seeing old friends draws closer, the Christmas decorations are aloft and the thought of Christmas Dinner becomes nearly unbearable (in a tasty way). But, however, Christmas is not here yet and the Scandal is so let us get on with it...

Mr. Clarke's demands have been met and he gets a paragraph to himself, which I find personally scandalous. The most shocking scandal is his blatant defiance of his red-head counterparts. The plot to change the colour of his hair caused shouts of outrage among the Red (head) Party members, at their council. The negotiations are still on going and let's hope, for Mr. Clarke's sake, that they don't take military action.

With the prospect of Mr. Shepley buy drinks a week on Wednesday, I have decided to cease with the comments on the accent he may/ may not have picked up while being exposed to Southeners. And to re-literate his words, I am sure that all those away from home have picked up a little of the local accent while exposed to local folk. However, the office must point out that looking like one of the Beetles is worthy of a picture, also we expect the relatives Christmas present options are some what broadened.

Have a good holiday

Harsh Reality

Back Again With Another Round Of Scandal

It is with great sadness that I must report the death of Tom Sunter, elder brother on Jack Sunter and free-lance Outdoor Pursuits Instructor. He drowned, over the weekend, while Kayaking in rapids and unfortunately got stuck upside down in rocks.

That's it! I know why no-one is commenting on this much anymore. I need a broader spectrum of scandal, I tell you what I'll write some lie... errm I mean Scandal on everyone. That means you get a couple of sentences on each of you (well not everyone 'cos then it gets too long). Well, read on...

Mr. Shepley has become increasingly illusive, theories are that he began concentrating so hard on engineering that he himself has become a RSJ (big iron girder). Or that he has joined the southern front and is convinced Scotland is the only place north of the Southern Boarders.

Agony aunt gone wrong may not actually exist. Yes it may be true! Popular belief believes that "she" is actualy a computer. As it seems that comments don't stop day or night. The Office is sure that, with a little background research, a human cannot stay awake long enough to keep the comments flowing with such fluidicity.

Miss Paddon (a.k.a. moonbeam) , on a personal note, blabbers incessantly about totally the wrong motion in Lit. & Deb. Avoiding the whole discussion is not the point of such a meeting. Trying to rubbish the comments people are making doesn't work all of the time. Especially when they are talking about how religion and the Iraq war are linked, when it should have been focusing on the problems religion causes in general.

Scotty this week was arrested by the FBI while on one of his daily excursions to the USA. It is unknown as to whether or not he has been released, as the investigation bureau refuses to admitt that he was under their custody. Keep a look out folks!

The Scandal Press Editor in Chief is believed to have frozen to his radiator as they are only fueled by running the pipe on the outside of the building. His laptop has frozen up, as the fan cooling system erupted with warm air that condensed and froze once within contact with the Siberian style air.

For those I have missed: you'll get a paragraph if you comment more or prove to me that there's a chance of rustling up some Scandal on yourself.

Yours

Harsh Reality

The Monday Issue... is here!

I return once again to entertain the far and wide readers of the Scandal Press. As with the highly increased interest with this site I can feel a new lease of life in regard to Scandal, so without further ado.

Just incase the news hasn't reached you yet james diyed his hair. The fallowing is an exclusive intervew the agony aunt gone wrong had with him last friday (25.11.05)

Dare me sagt:what's the exact colour look like?

Anyone back in Bolton This Weekend? sagt:sort of a redy/purple

Dare me sagt:did you die it yourself?

Anyone back in Bolton This Weekend? sagt:Kim (one of my flatmates) did it for me[...]

Dare me sagt:o right when did you die it?

Anyone back in Bolton This Weekend? sagt:tuesday

The Scandal Press office await the photos of conformation on this subject and frankly I just can't wait, so that I can find out how many hahaha's I can fit in the comments box. (Although I can't imagine I'd be able to type anything through the paralysing laughter).

Also using an undisclosed reporter, words reach the office that one Mr. Paul is picking up the southern accent faster than any sane person should be allowed. Intellect has made him absorb not only excessive knowledge, but also the local "North of Watford" accent.

The annual year 12 trip to Patterdale Hall for business dynamics began last Wednesday, with the first lot of lads going north for a relative waste of time (I'm going today). For the most laughable offence two of our year got sent home the morning after the first night. The bets were running with various offences including; drunken, drunk in the morning, taking alcohol, fighting, stealing or smoking. One of the listed is correct, but it's just pitiful. A source tells me they we caught stealing sweets off one of the business dynamics leaders. It sounded like he gave them out , but in this case they just tok 'em. Thiefing little idiots.

Anyhoo that's that until next week (, well maybe).

In the words of Bruce Lee (from Enter the Dragon):

"It's like a finger pointing at the moon... don't! concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory before you."