Thursday, January 29, 2009

New Scandal same as the Old Scandal

Dear one and all,

More precisely,

Dear Everyone who reads this,

It is once again that the Scandal Editorial Team return to the writing board to look baffled and make any old crap up.

Firstly, it has been confirmed that Adriana is one of the new faces of Cadburys chocolate, as the spelling queen of the liverpudlian world she was tipped as the best girl for the job. As a celebration, Adriana herself got married and invited noone to the event, as such we shun the relationship immediately. She also chose to send the Senior Editor-in-Chief oysters and Guinness all the way from Ireland, we have a feeling that the marriage is on the rocks.

Secondly, the Senior Editor-in-Chief is yet again to be seen in a kilt and drinking tea. Also Ambulating both shires with trips planned to the arse and elbow (cambridge and glasgow), we foresee a trail of unrecorded carnage in the wake of our Chiefs arrival.

Now remember, corn flakes were accidentally created after Mr. Kellogg wanted a preventative for masturbation. Also, when a sperm is wasted god gets quite irate.

Yours,

In the preamble,

The Scandal Press Senior Editor-in-Chief

6 comments:

Scotty said...

So that's why those cornflakes are so damn suspicious! why else would they invent them and sell them by the bowlful?

Scandal Press Editor in Chief said...

indeed, now lets bitch about these friends of ours that, when term starts, cease all activity.

chris said...

Yeah they're all bastards!

clarkey said...

Cease activity... PAAAUUUULLLLL!

Adriana said...

you know it really is a shame that none of you could come to my wedding. It was quite the sight! might have even beaten my 18th. Thing is though.. married life doesn't seem a lot different to being single. I wonder why that might be *ponders this for two seconds* might facebook be lying? *quickly hides, before someone can throw a stone at me for blaspheme*

Adriana said...

oh out of curiosity though... "to the arse and elbow (cambridge and glasgow)" which is which? or does every man get to decide that for himself? *thinks about the sexy man's t-shirt here ('shit happens' etc.)*

*does a little eyebrow wiggle just to show my talents and vanishes*