Hello and once again it’s back to the press,
Not that anyone apart from the Senior Editor-in-Chief, the Prez Scotty “small but mighty” “the Dog” Jones, and our Foreign Executive Producer Ms. Ferrari read this anyway.
The Senior Editor-in-Chief has sent a press release confirming positive action to be taken on a new year’s invasion of a place known only as Aberdeen. The reason being there has been untold revelry and shenanigans heard of during this passing of jahren and a reconnaissance team of about twelve people should be sent to investigate as there are fears that the season passing may be insipid, which in his mind would be unconceivable.
Also in the news; it has become, just now, common knowledge, that our Foreign Executive Producer likes girls with long ginger hair. Do not ask why, we don’t know, but equally along with all news produced here we don’t care, we do however reserve the right to hunt down and contact this good looking red head to ask exactly how she pulls it off. The reason being Mr. P-to-the-J “Duncan” “light up the sky” Clarke (yes, we got there eventually), doesn’t seem a decent enough example of someone with ginger hair, and I’m sure all those folk at the Ginger Separatist Movement (“Better Red Than Dead”) will agree that calling people dickh**d and wishing death upon people is a sign of his inner struggle with his abjuration that he is, in fact, ginger.
News just in: Harsh Reality, our undercover agent, is in the hullsian gulf, doing some clandestine recon missions for us on the wrong side of the Pennines. In the 15 year plan it is hoped that eventually they can be converted and the white rose shunned and unappreciated globally.
Yours truly,
In hope of some replies,
The Scandal Press Senior Editor-in-Chief
p.s. I want you, I shall seek and find you, I shall take you to bed and have my way with you, I will make you ache, shake, sweat and groan, I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop, I will exhaust you to the point you will be relieved when I’m finished with you and you will be weak for days. All my love, THE FLU
1 comment:
To quote one Foreign reporter:
*bows down* Great investigative journalistic undercover work there dude, I don't know how you pull it off...I was under the false allusion you either a) actually wanted me :P or b) had sent a very personal text to the wrong person (Rambolina's number has a 3 not 4 at the end!!)
I am a firm believer of the ginger rights front - however, being refered to as ginger myself, very much mistakenly, in the past, I feel very eager to certify they are of a different talent altogether! We are mere mortals.
Aberdeen for a measely 24 pounds sterling...for a 16 hour round trip. Shall I book it?
Post a Comment