We at the Scandal Press recently came upon t'news that a certain rouge 'aired fopdoodle, did see un chien in t'road and did swerve away and crash a certain jaguar estate (reconstituted mondeo) of a gold colour in t' newly named family tree. We at the Scandal Press, that is me an' t'elf did see this coming along as well as our foreign reporter the currently unbeknown Harsh Reality. "Ha", say we, (in literally translated terms), "gives yer right, shouldn't have been driving so fast in an automobile you never could quite control". The Scandal Press are in complete hysterics over the fact that the said gelogenic jackanapes is now restricted to drive a much smaller, more feminine-appearing, orange car, owned by his elder sister.
Reet, onwards, noo that everyone 'as finished with bein' ahoight an' all, t'is time for the old Scandal Press Standby, (roughly transcripted as: whatever we say goes, despite it being complete bunkum).
Reet, onwards, noo that everyone 'as finished with bein' ahoight an' all, t'is time for the old Scandal Press Standby, (roughly transcripted as: whatever we say goes, despite it being complete bunkum).
So, here goes,
Drumroll please!
Yesterday an arriva bus crashed into the Bolton Crown Court building injuring 4 people, sparking rumours that our red 'aired coxcomb had summat to do with the navigation of this here bus and the police are looking into a definite connection between both incidents.
We have heard news of a pool hustler who goes by the persona Paul Shepley, he has a newfound gift of being a mascot for the game itself, should anyone mutter his name whilst attempting a near impossible shot shall be rewarded with great, otherwise inexplicable, fortune.
thats all folks,
feel free to comment,
The Scandal Press Team
p.s. there is a homunculus fellow in our team that has recently been refered to as an elf, he complains most exhuberantly that he is not an elf but a dwarf, he also claims to conquer all, but seeing as i'm a satrap this will never be possible!
5 comments:
POLL: Should Clarkey be banned from driving? Answers A.S.A.P.
My Car is back on the 9th and could comments only be made by those who have passed their own driving test. If your license isn't pink then you really ain't in a postion to comment.
Paul's name does bring amazing good fortune when playing it's amazing.
Good Motoring!
Nice to see The Scandal Press doing what it does best yet again, and long may it continue.
There are things to learn from the driving incident. Either drive slower when you can't see the animals running into the road, or, just drive over them and be done with it - though the car will need a clean when you park it up.
Still keep it up people!
so clarkey is now feighning ownership of the car he crashed, and who gives one if you have a license or not, i dont need to drive anywhere therefore do not need to pay insurance, petrol and road tax, and as such i do not need an overdraft because i dont need to spend such ludicrous amounts of money on such things, plus thanks to people like you who refuse to run down animals/drive correctly/use your brakes without steering into trees. young men who pass their driving test and buy a car immediately are pushing up the amount of insurance the sensible drivers have to pay!
the Scandal Press team refuses to stop commenting on this subject and it will be brought up as much as possible in conversations. examples of such are as a retort e.g. "at least i didn't crash a car into a tree" or "have you seen any dogs in the road recently?"
POLL No.2 : inflatable sex toys: Good, Bad, or Ugly?
I am the all ruling dwarf, thou shall all kneel down and be at my level for my unwavering praise...I be no elf, I tells ya, never, what never an elf like creature did I become...I was and always have been a warrior...DWARF! Why do some refer to yours truly as some sort of elf...do I deliver presents for Santa Claus? I never even seen Santa...until this weekend that is :P
Poll 1? Banned from ANYTHING!
Poll 2? Meh, either way it's going to hurt...
Poll 3 on the horizon??
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