It is with deep regret that I report that there, quite frankly, is nothing to report here at the Scandal Press Reporting offices, which leaves our reporters with nothing left to report on other than those things which don't warrant any reporter's attention. Such things include a reporter's favourite sandwich, however much sense it may make at the time!
Why, oh why, I hear you ask is there nothing looming out there? Is it because we don't hear anymore from the Bolton School crew, who assumingly are livin' it up in their final year of sixth form, or is it simply because we ALL in fact are being boring and lifeless? I doubt the latter, so I hope that people communicate to us in someway some sort of scandal, preferrably one which leaves out sexual flings with farmyard animals!
1 comment:
Dear all...
It is with deep regret that I report that there, quite frankly, is nothing to report here at the Scandal Press Reporting offices, which leaves our reporters with nothing left to report on other than those things which don't warrant any reporter's attention. Such things include a reporter's favourite sandwich, however much sense it may make at the time!
Why, oh why, I hear you ask is there nothing looming out there? Is it because we don't hear anymore from the Bolton School crew, who assumingly are livin' it up in their final year of sixth form, or is it simply because we ALL in fact are being boring and lifeless? I doubt the latter, so I hope that people communicate to us in someway some sort of scandal, preferrably one which leaves out sexual flings with farmyard animals!
Sad times people.
SP Team President
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