Hello All,
This shall be the first post of many months, reason being I was lost by the Scandal Press Team, later found, after much searching, down the back of the sofa, along with mouldy crisps and £1.20.
There has been little Scandal at all so we shall carry on as usual.
I don't know if anyone heard but Mr.Emery suffers also from Tree-walking-invisible-dog-in-road Syndrome and has totalled his Micra, the result of which means he has to be taxi-ed everywhere.
Unfortunately we at the Scandal Press believe that he has also been away sailing the seven seas and has come back with stories so blown up with nonsense that we must congratulate Mr.Emery on having forced government itself to build a bullshit bell all for him, this bell is a highly decorated piece and is commonly known as Big Ben. Such is the gravity of Mr.Emery's bullshitting that it must toll on the hour every hour just to make sure they catch him out.
Also in the mill, Mr.C has disappeared and has been replaced by a clone, constantly calling people "Dickhead" and the "c" word. Such language has never been heard until now and we at the Scandal Press are outraged! As such, a "What Has Happened To Mr.Clarke" Charity has been set up to fund a trip to find the real one. We believe he is in a basement somewhere but are non-plussed as how to get there.
Non-Scandal Related Incidents: We wish Mr.Shepley much fun in Japan, and knw he shall be able to drink them all under their tables. Also should a hostage release fund be required we shall have the money by next August.
All the best and Boo-Haloo to you,
The Scandal Press Team.
5 comments:
Name: Scotty McRuff
Occupation: President of SP
News just in: The Mr Shepley "just in case" insurance fund has now been set-up and currently stands at a marvelous 5p...further donations are welcome and will be invested in sending the One and Only a big book of Nuts to keep him occupied.
Further news: Mass injuries of sprained wrists have been reported recently due to hyperWii exercise. Doctors seem baffled as to why devoted gamer C.P. remains unharmed.
Keep the scandal rolling baby!
Heidi hey!
Just a quick note before I leave - the taxi's due in 10 mins!
I'll miss you guys and being at home. It's been a fun couple of weeks - and t'was an achievement that before leaving home I spent 3 of my final four nights away from my own bed. I'll leave you all to imagine where I was sleeping...
Still, I hope all the fun continues and at a similar rate. But don't over-do it, because I return and want there to be more weekend-based fun to mark that occassion.
See you all soooooon, and remember - I have e-mail!
Paul
Apparently scott is attempting to orgaqnise anothjer trip to the fatherland in honour of some persons birthday, (no idea who's)
the dates are set at sometime between now and the start of september. this be problem as everyone is not free at the same time. oh well.
More scandal will be released on
Name: Scotty McDoodle
Occupation: Failed gambler
News just in: In celebration of the very special birthday of an even more special person, the SP headquarters have begun inquiries into the organisation of a mass trip to Germany. The dates are yet to be confirmed, but late August, early September seem the best times, before the 4th for the Chief Editor I believe.
Further news: We wish El Paulo all the best of fun and hope he's knuckling down to work on the other side of the planet. His return will be fantastic.
Dates now changed to before 2nd september for i are so great!
SP EiC
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